My fingertips trembled uncontrollably. As if chased by a beast, I was frozen by a fear I could not rein in.
*Swish.*
I pulled my trembling hand away from Rose's forehead. As I clenched my fist, the veins on the back of my hand bulged a stark blue.
Me, afraid?
It was impossible.
I was the legitimate heir to inherit Schmaichel, the one who had never known defeat—whether in a one-on-one duel or a chaotic melee against many.
What could I possibly be afraid of?
*Swish.*
I brought the back of my hand to Rose's pale, bloodless cheek.
Relieved by the soft touch, I finally had to admit it.
...I was afraid.
I was terrified of losing Rose.
Her dazzling green eyes when she smiled, her softly cascading hair, that warm and beloved body heat.
I was terrified I might never feel them again.
‘Let us enter a contract marriage.’
I bound us with the word 'contract' and forced Rose into a position where she had to act for my sake. Because only Rose could save me from my impending death.
But now, the death creeping up on Rose right before my eyes had become more important than the death creeping up on me.
‘Rose!’
The moment I cried out like that, my heart realized it before my head did.
*Thwack!*
The very moment I stabbed the enemy in the back and dragged him out of the carriage.
Countless scenarios flashed through my mind.
A body stiffened hard as stone, a pale and bloodless face, blood trickling from the lips and cold skin.
Just the thought of Rose ending up like that almost made me lose my mind.
Helplessness and despair.
Emotions I never thought existed in me, emotions that had never existed, had silently crept up on me.
All because of that one little squirrel.
‘Father!’
Three years ago, I swore before my parents' corpses.
I swore that I would definitely protect Schmaichel, that I would never lose anything precious again.
Since then, I never kept anything precious to protect by my side. Because you couldn't lose what you didn't have.
But.
I belatedly realized that the squirrel who had settled into a corner of my heart at some point had become something irremovable, firmly embedded within.
‘Since when.’
If a horse died, I could just ride a new one; if a sword broke, I could just reforge it.
But the Rose before my eyes could not be replaced.
If I lost her, it was over. I could never get her back.
“Haha...”
A bitter smile forced its way out of my lips.
I thought I understood why Joel betrayed me, and why the collateral relatives who received gifts banded together so tightly.
Because threatening the life of someone precious was far more effective than threatening my own life.
Realizing it this way was quite ironic.
*Swish.*
I quietly rose from the bed and sat back down on the chair next to it.
I gently lifted Rose's hand and wrapped it in mine. Just being in contact with her warmth made my anxious feelings gradually fade.
I waited like that, endlessly gazing at Rose's side profile.
How much time could have passed.
“Mmm...”
With a shallow groan, Rose's eyelids began to flutter.
“...Rose.”
As I called her softly, Rose slowly opened her eyes. She soon turned her face to look at me, who was holding her hand.
“Your Grace...? Where is this...”
“Your bedroom. You were unconscious for a good few hours.”
“Ah, I...”
Rose reflexively tried to sit up, but
“Ugh.”
She suddenly let out a short groan.
“Are you alright?”
“Ah, my lower back is throbbing a bit...”
“I will bring the physician.”
I tried to stand up abruptly, but
“I'm fine.”
I stopped because Rose squeezed the hand she was holding.
“It's not that serious. I'm fine, so leave me be.”
Saying that, Rose propped herself up on her other arm with a grunt. It was pitiful to see her forcing herself.
“Just stay lying down. You are a patient.”
“But I'm thirsty...”
There was nothing I could do when she said that. She couldn't drink water lying down.
“Stay still.”
I grabbed Rose's shoulders and helped her sit up slowly.
“......”
Until yesterday, I had no reservations about this level of contact.
But after realizing how I felt about this little squirrel, I suddenly became cautious. I was acutely aware of every single touch.
“Huu...”
Rose, sitting up against the pillows, let out a long breath.
I briefly looked at Rose's pale complexion, and then
*Clack.*
I picked up the glass of water Joel had left behind. Just in case, I took a sip first.
‘It has willow bark powder mixed in.’
I recognized it because it was a medicinal herb I had often taken. Its unique, gritty, and bitter taste lingered on my tongue.
“Drink. It seems to be free of poison.”
“...Yes.”
Rose reached out to take the glass but paused. She noticed the ointment smeared on her palm.
*Tap.*
She carefully took the glass without letting it touch her palm.
*Gulp, gulp.*
Perhaps because she was thirsty, the sound of her drinking was quite loud. I waited silently, keeping my eyes on her intermittently trembling hands.
“...Ugh.”
“What is it?”
“It's bitter...”
“It's because medicine was mixed in. What else would medicine be if not bitter? Bear with it and drink.”
Rose sulked for a moment before downing the rest of the water.
“......”
While she did that, silence flowed between us. I felt anxious for no reason and thought I should say something.
“We are interrogating the surviving enemies. We will soon track down who ordered them.”
“Ah, yes.”
*Swoosh.*
As I stood up and slightly pulled back the blanket, Rose's ankle wrapped in bandages was revealed.
“You avoided a fracture, but be careful with this ankle for the time being.”
I gently stroked Rose's ankle.
My heart dropped when I thought that it could have been twisted at a strange angle or lost forever.
*Flinch.*
Rose's toes curled tightly for a moment.
“Does it hurt?”
“Ah, no, it doesn't hurt, but...”
“Mhm.”
I withdrew my hand, returned to my seat, and sat down. Rose, who somehow had better color than before, stared at me.
“It is a shame that I let the bastard who hurt you die so easily. I should have cut off his wrists... no, his fingers one by one...”
I stopped myself as I muttered without thinking. The blood was draining from Rose's face again.
‘...Damn it.’
I was short of words to comfort her, so why was I spouting such gruesome things?
And what was with these stiff sentences? It wasn't like I was giving a situation report in the military.
I wanted to punch my own wicked mouth.
*Clatter.*
I placed a small Magical Device next to Rose.
“What is this? You were holding it in your hand.”
“Andersen-nim gave it to me.”
Rose tapped the Magical Device awkwardly, as if bothered by it.
“He gave it to me to use in dangerous situations... but its performance was excessively good.”
“Good?”
Something surged up inside me. The moment I had rushed into the carriage flashed through my mind again.
Just recalling the back of the bastard who was panting and aiming an axe at Rose made my heart feel like it was being crushed.
“This is not good but dangerous. What were you going to do if you provoked the enemy and ended up in a worse situation?”
“Ah...”
“If you can't subdue them for certain, it's better not to use it at all.”
-Wait. Was I pushing the patient too hard right now?
When I belatedly realized that fact,
“I'm sorry...”
Rose had already buried her dejected face deep down.
“I thought I needed to stall for time until you arrived, Your Grace...”
“I am not asking you to apologize.”
“I'm sorry...”
Damn it.
I sighed and clutched my brows. Unaware that Rose shrank back even more at the sight.
‘Why am I acting like this?’
My mouth wouldn't move as I wanted.
My head was a complete mess, and my heart felt like it was stuck in a swamp; I couldn't even understand what I was saying myself.
“...I was just.”
I let out a long breath and opened my mouth.
“Rose, because you got hurt.”
I struggled to continue speaking with a confused mind.
“I said with my own mouth that you wouldn't get hurt.”
In the original story, Rose was never hurt after the return. Rose had simply performed her role quietly in Dane's shadow.
For things to go this far... it was entirely my fault.
Because I had proudly pushed Rose forward in front of everyone. Because I had provoked the enemies to use any means necessary.
“No, Your Grace. This is-”
“I don't know if it will be enough, but I will do my best to compensate you. I will take meticulous care so that no scars remain on your body. I will spare no expense to procure good medicinal herbs and ointments for you.”
“......”
“Whether it is jewels or dresses, just name it. If you want, I will pay with funds you can use for your personal expenses.”
Rose fell silent, seemingly at a loss for words. Her complexion was worsening again.
Was this wrong? Something... something was missing.
“I can't guarantee there won't be another ambush, but I will thoroughly prepare so that you, at least, won't get hurt, Madam.”
“......”
“The attacks will grow fiercer until my birthday, so I will increase the guard and ensure you are never alone.”
Rose's face was still dark.
Was this not it either? Could it be, then.
“Do you, by any chance, want to break the contract?”
If she had realized the danger of this position and no longer wanted to be here.
“Since I was the one who violated the contract terms, there are sufficient grounds for liability.”
Rose was startled and raised her head. She stared at my face in disbelief.
“What did you just say?”
“You may leave. If that is what you want.”
Was this really what I wanted to say? What was I going to do if Rose actually agreed to it?
I should just tell her not to leave, that I would protect her and never let her get hurt again. Just one word was needed.
I was hiding my true desire to maintain the contract, presenting it to Rose as if she had a choice.
While floundering between my desire to hold onto Rose and my wish for her to be safe.
It was the first time I realized I had such a cowardly side.
“...Your Grace.”
Rose's wide-open eyes began to ripple.
“Is that really... all you have to say to me?”
Rose clenched her trembling chin tightly.
“I, I...”
“......”
“You... just a little.”
Rose couldn't finish her sentence. The tears that had welled up in her eyes finally rolled down her cheeks.
“Sob...”
Only after seeing Rose sobbing did I realize what I had done.
‘Haa.’
Truly, I was so pathetic that it drove me crazy.
“Rose.”
My body moved before I had time to think. I grabbed Rose's shoulders and pulled her into a tight embrace.
“-!”
Feeling the warm body in my arms stiffen,
“I'm sorry.”
I let out the words I hadn't wanted to say, but had to.
“Hic...”
Rose continued to sob pitifully. The small body in my arms trembled.
I felt even more pathetic.
‘Stupid fool.’
Biting down on a low curse, I tightened my arms around Rose.
“What I was trying to say... I mean.”
The words wouldn't come out easily, as if a stone was stuck in my throat.