I Got a Gallery in the Wild - Chapter 76

Every human leads a tough life in their own way.

Even if someone seems impossibly high-and-mighty, fabulously wealthy without a care in the world, or like they have everything,

everyone has their own grievances, so they need a way to unwind.

For that, everyone needs their own little pleasure in life. Otherwise, humanity wouldn’t have invented entertainment in the first place.

In that sense, before I was dropped into the Forest of the Four Seasons, my life’s simple pleasure was pretty ordinary.

Working all day, then coming home to play a game with a friend.

Or gathering with everyone for a drink on days off.

Due to circumstances, I couldn’t attend college, but I could still call these small pleasures.

"Phew..."

And back to the present.

As of today, it feels like my life’s main pleasure is officially smoking—that is, cigars.

Taking a long, cool puff, a refreshing aroma filled the depths of my lungs.

As if wrapping up an exhausting day, the puffy smoke billowed out and calmed my mind.

’...Delicious.’

I didn’t smoke the cigar all the way to the end.

I had promised my late father that I would never smoke in my life.

But this hellish environment broke even that promise.

Still, well... it wasn’t bad. At least my mind felt at peace.

’Father in heaven. Your unfilial son is sorry for breaking his promise.’

Please forgive me just this once. I’m having a really tough time living here.

Putting a cigar to my lips when I didn’t even smoke before—did it make me sentimental? A chuckle slipped out.

’Life sure is bitter.’

Add alcohol to this, and it would be perfect. But I held back on the booze.

If I drank alcohol on top of this, I’d end up just as much of a drunkard as Passing Dwarf.

Besides, I had other work to do, so alcohol needed to be put on the back burner as much as possible.

In the first place, if I got drunk and suffered an ambush, I’d be screwed. Cigars were definitely better.

’First, I should trade with Passing Dwarf.’

I opened the wooden box containing the cigars to use the built-in ashtray.

Tapping the cigar against the ashtray a few times, I trimmed the lit tip with a dagger.

Cigars aren’t meant to be used up all at once; they’re smoked bit by bit across multiple sessions.

One of my friends was a tobacco enthusiast, so I knew this much.

’I never thought what he taught me would come in handy.’

If it helped, that was good enough. With a mind much clearer than before, I logged into the Gallery... wait, no, I didn’t.

Prepping the squirming crabs in my backpack took priority.

A crab dies if you stick a dagger into its mouth and twist it like a key.

Trading them in that state should cause no issues.

’Fish had their heads cut off so that’s fine, but is it possible with crabs?’

Given the Gallery’s mechanics, living creatures cannot be traded.

That was why I had been providing fish partially prepped all this time.

But even if you pry open a crab’s mouth, it takes a little time for it to actually die.

Just to be safe, it seemed best to pop their mouths open beforehand and put them into a bucket.

Placing them in a bucket of water would drain the innards from their mouths, making cleaning even easier.

Pagagak!

I forcefully twisted the dagger in the squirming crab’s mouth.

As soon as I saw brownish goo leaking out of its mouth, I dumped it into the bucket.

The other crab underwent the exact same process before being tossed into the bucket.

’While they vomit up their blood and guts, I’ll ask Passing Dwarf.’

Ask what? As mentioned earlier, I was going to ask how to maintain a sword.

He was a blacksmith—and a Dwarf at that—so he was bound to give me all kinds of pro tips.

Glancing at the crabs in the iron bucket, I logged into the Gallery.

Title: Dwarf. Initiate the trade in 20 minutes.

Wild Grylls

(Photo of crabs inside an iron bucket)

It’ll take a bit of time for these guys to die. In the meantime, give me some sword maintenance tips.

└ Passing Dwarf: K, but there’s no secret recipe or anything. Just good oil, paper, and a whetstone and you’re good to go lol

└ Wild Grylls: Is it hard to... give me all of that?

└ Passing Dwarf: The whetstone is tough since I need it myself, but I’ll give you a budget version instead. But isn’t that sword a fucking masterpiece? It probably takes care of itself.

└ Heavenly Demon: A natural fact. This girl’s sword was forged from Ten-Thousand-Year Cold Iron; it shall never rust.

└ Wild Grylls: Ohhh;;

└ Passing Dwarf: That’s only half true, so don’t trust it too much. If anything, because it’s Ten-Thousand-Year Cold Iron, you gotta maintain it even better.

└ Wild Grylls: So it does rust?

└ Passing Dwarf: Rust aside, if it snaps, repairing it is almost fucking impossible. Even for me, I’d have to slave away over it for days.

└ Wild Grylls: Guess I really gotta treat it like a lover;;

└ Heavenly Demon: It wounds my pride, but asking that guy isn’t a bad idea. The blacksmith who forged that sword has long returned to dust.

Of course I’d maintain it. Not doing so would be ungrateful whining.

Moving past the Sword of the Heavenly Demon like that, I asked about the next gear.

Not the Golden Shield, but the Adaman-whatever shield gifted by Praise the Sun.

└ Wild Grylls: Then how should I maintain the shield?

└ Passing Dwarf: Don’t bother maintaining shields. It’s a waste of effort. Shields are structurally built to break eventually.

└ Wild Grylls: But I heard it’s made with Adaman-whatever?Enjoying the story? Read on at novelping . com.

└ Passing Dwarf: Then the moment that shield breaks is the moment you fucking die;;

└ Praise the Sun: Saying the exact same thing as me. Keep those words in mind.

└ Wild Grylls: Okay.

Besides that, I asked about crossbows, axes, arrows, and so forth.

I inquired in detail about the items I was currently using conveniently.

Well, the consensus was mostly just that as long as I oiled them properly, they wouldn’t break.

At most, the crossbow string needed replacing eventually, but he offered to change that for me himself.

└ Wild Grylls: Can’t I change it myself?

└ Passing Dwarf: Don’t talk nonsense and leave it to a professional.

└ Wild Grylls: Kk;;

Chatting like that, twenty minutes flew by.

I checked the movement of the crabs inside the iron bucket. They were quiet as could be.

Looks like their innards and blood had completely drained out. Now all that was left was to trade.

[Wild Grylls has registered trade items.]

[Wild Grylls: Here. Two crabs just like you wanted.]

[Wild Grylls: Clean and eat them right away.]

[Passing Dwarf: Fucking gonna eat them right away with booze lol sec]

[Passing Dwarf has registered trade items.]

[Passing Dwarf: Maintenance tools and oil.]

[Passing Dwarf: It’s hi-i-igh quality oil, so don’t waste it.]

[Wild Grylls: Kk]

[Passing Dwarf: But if I eat crabs, do I get a fever or something?]

[Wild Grylls: Nah, you won’t.]

The trade with the Dwarf proceeded swiftly.

I checked the items received through the trade.

Last time they came in a plain wooden box, but this time they were packed in a toolbox.

However, the whetstones came separately—and in multiple types at that.

’This one looks like a millstone turned on its side.’

One was a rotating type, and the other was shaped like a rectangular block.

Placing these outside seemed better than keeping them inside the cave.

If the sound of grinding blades woke up Wonmo, it would be pretty annoying.

’And this is oil... why’d he give me so much?’

And it wasn’t just in any simple bottle. It looked suspiciously like a liquor bottle to anyone who saw it.

Seeing thick oil poured into a brown liquor bottle felt like, how should I put it...

’Like back in the day when Mom put soy sauce into a Coke bottle.’

It was just like that. Are all Dwarves like this, or is Passing Dwarf just weird?

Still, he gave me plenty, so no complaints. Next, I checked the oil paper.

Looking closely, it wasn’t wax/oil paper so much as plain paper.

Looks like he gave me this so I could soak it in oil myself to apply it.

’Shall I give it a try?’

Since I got it anyway, I decided to maintain the Sword of the Heavenly Demon. It wasn’t like I had anything else to do.

I slowly began maintaining the Sword of the Heavenly Demon as the Dwarf instructed.

The Sword of the Heavenly Demon was a masterwork blade capable of effortlessly slicing through flesh, hide, and even bone.

But even for such a masterwork blade, because its wielder was a novice, it was filthy in places.

On top of that, I had slain a Guardian in the morning and a pack of Guardians by noon.

’And after killing Mad Dog, I didn’t maintain it at all, right?’

Perhaps because of that, the Sword of the Heavenly Demon was quite grimy.

If Heavenly Demon had seen this, wouldn’t she have flown into a rage?

Brushing aside useless thoughts, I removed the blood and debris stuck to the blade.

First, applying oil to the surface and gently wiping it with paper...

"Ouch! Dammit!!"

My hand touching the edge got sliced right along with the paper.

How the hell did it cut through so cleanly the second paper touched it?!

Staring at my finger with blood dripping out drop by drop, I silently grabbed an Elixir.

’I really need to be careful with the edge.’

One wrong move and I could slice off my whole hand.

I was even wearing the World Tree Gloves, and it still cut through.

Thanks to that, I confirmed the self-repair ability of the World Tree Gloves, but I also realized just how absurdly overpowered the Sword of the Heavenly Demon was.

’I really have to treat it like a lover.’

A slightly—no, very demanding lover. Even the K2 rifle I used in the military wasn’t this high-maintenance.

Pouring all my concentration into it, I maintained the Sword of the Heavenly Demon.

Because the edge was so insanely sharp, I had a hard time servicing it, but I somehow succeeded.

The cost was sacrificing paper by the handful, but it couldn’t be helped.

’As I get used to it bit by bit, it’ll get better.’

I leaned the Sword of the Heavenly Demon against the cave wall.

The Dwarf said a well-ventilated, dry spot was the absolute best place.Follow the newest chapters on nоvelping.com.

’I should oil the rest of my tools too.’

Shield, dagger, shovel, axe, and so forth. I oiled everything that could be oiled.

You might say "Can’t you just buy new ones?", but this was to prevent them from breaking at a critical moment.

’Now that I’m done...’

I slowly turned my head and looked at Speed Sloth.

Bbareumbo was wearing his trademark relaxed expression.

Tilts-

As I stared intently at him, he tilted his head.

Even the speed of his head tilt was frustratingly sluggish.

But what caught my eye was something else.

"Bbareumbo."

"...."

"Wanna get a claw manicure?"

Bbareumbo’s ferocious claws definitely needed maintenance.

I wasn’t joking; I was dead serious. Thanks to those claws, I had owed my life multiple times.

"Come here. It’s good for you too."

"...."

Bbareumbo cast a suspicious glance for a moment, then shuffled over slowly.

While Bbareumbo approached, I prepared the oil and paper.

’Wait a second. Does trimming come before oiling for claws?’

I had never raised a pet, so I didn’t really know.

In the first place, who on earth would maintain a sloth’s claws?

As I pondered, the whetstone suddenly caught my eye.

Bbareumbo’s claws were hard enough to slice iron buckets, so wouldn’t a whetstone work?

’...Probably not.’

The size difference was too drastic. Besides, the spacing between Bbareumbo’s claws was way too narrow.

After much deliberation, I decided to ask the Gallery.

There were all kinds of people in the Gallery, so someone was bound to know how to groom animal claws.

Title: Anyone here know how to groom animal claws?

Wild Grylls

(Photo of Bbareumbo’s savagely overgrown claws)

I wanna groom Bbareumbo’s claws. Anyone know what kind of tools I should use?

└ Heavenly Demon: What ferocious claws. Maintaining them is indeed a wise idea.

└ Wild Grylls: He’s my top combat power right now, so maintenance is essential.

└ Sword Matstar: Is Speed Sloth really that strong?

└ Wild Grylls: He’s fast. So fast it’s hard to follow with the naked eye;;

└ Never in my life did I think I’d see a guy grooming a sloth’s claws lol

└ Do sloth claws normally look that terrifying?

└ They gotta climb trees, so isn’t that natural?

└ Passing Dwarf: Don’t ask me. I maintain tools, I don’t know shit about animals.

└ Wild Grylls: Too bad.

└ Praise the Sun: Are you clipping the claws, or sharpening them?

└ Wild Grylls: Sharpening. I plan to hone them even sharper than they are.

└ Praise the Sun: If that’s the case, I can help out a bit. I groom my pet lion’s claws.

└ Wild Grylls: You raise a lion?;;

└ Praise the Sun: Why not? It’s all the rage in Setan. From my perspective, you raising a sloth is way weirder.

└ That’s true though.

└ A lion is just a cat anyway lol

└ Do lions like boxes too?

└ Tigers seem to like them.

This time, Praise the Sun offered some tips.

Saying the maintenance method varies depending on the claw’s features.

Beasts like lions or tigers have claws connected to blood vessels, so you gotta be careful.

On the other hand, sloths don’t have that, so you can groom them casually.

└ Praise the Sun: If the claws are closely spaced, just use sandpaper. That’ll be easier.

└ Wild Grylls: No special tools needed?

└ Praise the Sun: Tools won’t work well for that. Stick to sandpaper.

In the end, I groomed Bbareumbo’s claws using sandpaper.

Bbareumbo seemed to realize I was grooming his claws, quietly extending his paw.

’Calling it a hand when it’s claws feels a bit weird.’

Still, these were the claws that saved my life multiple times, so I put my heart into it.

Finally, wiping them clean with oil-soaked paper, done.

Bbareumbo quietly gazed at his claws, which were shinier and sharper than before.

Since he always had the exact same facial expression, I couldn’t tell if he liked it or hated it.

"Do you like it?"

"...."

Nod- nod-

Even his nodding was agonizingly slow.