The Extra’s Academy Survival Guide - Chapter 272

“Lortel.”

It felt as if I’d been sitting still for about twelve minutes, waiting. Lortel was hiding under the blanket, lying on the bed. She would suddenly wriggle around like a live fish that had just been caught.

Whenever she remembered something, she would wriggle around as if her body was struck with a bolt of electricity. Since I could imagine what she was going through, I could only close my eyes and wait.

“I’ll…go get more water…”

I had already finished all of the cold water I brought up earlier. I couldn’t help but feel my throat get dry. I had no choice but to head back down to the first floor lobby with the kettle.

“Uhm… About the clothes you mentioned before…” I said to the worker.

“…Pardon?”

“It’s a little late, but could you go out and buy some women’s clothing for me…? I’ll pay for it.”

She stood still for a while before suddenly nodding her head. She must have been wondering what in the world happened in the room where Lortel and I were staying, for her clothes to be torn apart to the point where she needed new clothes. From the position of the young female worker, she couldn’t help but have her imagination run wild. I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as well.

“Y-Yes…then…I will go and buy clothes that are similar in size to mine…”

When I returned to the room after that strange conversation with the worker, Lortel, who had somewhat regained consciousness, was sitting on the bed.

Anyone who had only ever seen Lortel ordering others around as a leader might have burst into laughter if they saw her at that moment.

Even though her reddish-brown hair was messy, it still looked fiery even in the darkness, lit only by the moonlight. However, her usually confident and bright eyes were fixed on the floor. She held onto the blanket tightly as she wrapped it around her body.

Her face was bright red. Since it looked like she would explode at any moment, I quickly poured some water to give to her. Lortel gulped the water down, unlike her usual self. She sighed for a moment, trying to calm down.

About three seconds later, she leaned her head against the wall and covered her face again.

Because of the curse Slogg had put on her, she had acted cute and childish back at the Rothstaylor Estate. She always had a bright, innocent smile on her face as she looked at Lucy with respect and held onto Yennekar’s sleeve, following her everywhere she went. She even asked people to pat her on her head.

She looked as if she had just remembered it all… As well as the fact that I had read Lortel’s secret notebook…

She probably wanted to die of embarrassment.

“I see… Slogg Keldricks…”

After explaining things to Lortel for thirty minutes, she nodded her head before finally speaking like her usual mature self. I explained everything that happened while she was incapacitated, as well as everything about Slogg Keldricks.

Now, Lortel Kehelland was the only one that could hold the powerful Elte Company in her hands. Behind her was the power of House Rothstaylor, which was supported by both the Kroel Imperial Household and the Holy Father Building.

She had become perhaps the most powerful and influential merchant in Oldek.

Despite that, Lortel didn’t look relieved or happy in the slightest. She only lowered her head with a complicated expression on her face, a blanket wrapped tightly around her body.

“As expected, you’re not happy.”

“Right now… I can’t really think straight… But normally I’m not someone who has such a hard time controlling my feelings and thinking clearly. Do you think it’s an aftereffect of the curse…?”

Lortel clasped the blanket tightly as she held it close to her shoulders. She always wore expensive clothing and accessories, but at that moment, she wasn’t even wearing a thread.

Before she was a merchant, she was human.

It was clear that Lortel, who was called a devil who was willing to sell her soul for money, was human just like the rest of us at the end of the day.

“…I think you just have a lot on your mind right now.”

“Maybe. But the situation isn’t all that complicated. It’s just…”

Only then did Lortel act as if she had returned somewhat to her usual self. She started to show an embarrassed smile.

“If I act embarrassed and weak like this, I wonder if I can stimulate your protective instincts, Ed.”

She was acting like a fox like usual with her sensual smile in place. Normally, I would smile seeing that, but…

I didn’t at that moment.

“…Maybe it was too much to try and just gloss over it like this…”

“From experience, it’s better to just say you’re having a hard time when it’s tough.”

But considering the life Lortel had lived, that wasn’t easy to do. The city was full of wild animals that were desperate to find any weakness of hers. After all, showing weakness in such a city was no different than giving up your life.

That was why Lortel had grown a habit of hiding her weaknesses.

Even when she was confused, unsure, or embarrassed, she always acted like a sneaky fox with something up her sleeve. Seeing that, it wasn’t hard to imagine just what type of life she had lived.

“I’m not having a hard time, it’s just… I don’t know… Maybe I’m just afraid.”

She was sitting on the bed with the blanket wrapped around her, her pale feet sticking out at the end.

The gentle starry night sky illuminated the room, and in front of her, all she could see was me. Because we were alone together, Lortel could finally speak to me about her feelings without worrying about showing weakness.

“Struggling to survive in Oldek all this time, it feels like I’m walking in a thick fog. I don’t know where I am, and I have to be wary of every single sound I hear, unable to make anything out.”

The way she lowered her head, it felt like she was a delicate piece of glass that could break at any moment.

“But walking down such a path, waving your weapon at everyone who passes by, you end up cutting the necks of those who could have been on your side. Just like Slogg was.”

“…”

“It was something I did quite a bit before I met you, Ed.”

What I saw on Slogg’s face as he bled out and closed his eyes was a man who had foreseen it all. No matter what he did, Lortel would have never come to trust him. She grew up and survived in a city where betrayal and colluding were taken as natural. Slogg knew that fact better than anyone else.

“It’s idiotic. Pushing away and rejecting everything that comes your way with your own hands, only to finally end your journey being eaten away at by solitude.”

It was unusual for Lortel to mock herself like that. She was in a position where she always had to show an undisturbed appearance anytime, anywhere.

“But I couldn’t help it. Because I had to survive.”

Slogg wasn’t the first.

Lortel has walked down a path covered in gold. In the process, she surely pushed aside countless people who could have become close companions or friends, those she would honestly talk to. It wasn’t something that only applied to Lortel.

That may be the case for everyone in the merchant city. One misjudgment leads to spilled blood. The world of commerce was such a place.

“No matter what you do in this city, you can never escape solitude and taxes.”

She held her knees, talking half-jokingly. She raised the corners of her mouth, showing a smile, but there was still an empty feeling and bitterness in her expression.

It was night. It would be a while until sunrise.

That night would feel longer for Lortel than it would anyone else. Even though she was walking down a path that led her to push aside and lose countless people, she could never get used to that sense of loss and solitude. That was what it meant to be human.

Lortel could only bury her head in her lap. Just like Slogg, she doesn’t know how many more people she would have to bury in the ground… There was no way for her to ever know that.

“Ed.”

I could feel it as she briefly called out my name. She could convey such emotions with a weak exhale that came out at the end of her words.

She didn’t look like her usual fox- or snake-like self, who would mock and grin at others. In fact, I couldn’t see her expression, as she was burying her head. I could only see the hair that fell down the nape of her neck.

There was a big difference between the Lortel of the past and the present. It was the fact that she now had someone near her.

“Can you give me a hug?”

It was a faint voice, like the fading light of a lighthouse. She unconsciously raised the tone of her voice. However, I could tell from her soft voice and the tension in the room…

Normally, it seemed as if she were going to make a joke, put on a large grin, or burst into laughter at any given moment. But as a second passed, five seconds passed… Lortel never ran away while making a ‘joke.’

She simply kept her head buried in her knees, quiet in the soft silence. The chronic disease known as solitude, which had been stubbornly following her throughout her life, had a rather obvious cure.

The realization that you had someone next to you. The certainty that you would no longer have to spend long dark nights alone. That was probably what Lortel wanted the most at the moment.

The existence of someone that you could lean on emotionally when you were struggling. That was why… Seeing Lortel, who always glossed over things with jokes and a smile, look the way she did—I couldn’t take her lightly.

Her fragile appearance was like a candle that was about to go out. If someone were to ask me if I could leave Lortel in the room alone at that moment…

I could only reply by saying, ‘That’s not possible.’

But at the same time… I couldn’t stop thinking about Yennekar in one part of my mind. I had held Yennekar close and promised her that we would live a happy and romantic life together. Though, thinking back on it now, that was rather cringy.

So, wrapping my arms around Lortel’s shoulders and hugging her close—wouldn’t that make me a shameless piece of trash?

…Was I determined to become a piece of trash?

Suddenly, the meaningful words that Merilda whispered in my ears that day, with a playful expression on her face, penetrated deep into my heart.

If I wasn’t prepared to become a piece of trash, I needed to prepare myself to go the opposite way. I was determined to leave the room quietly. To shake my head at Lortel and quietly leave the room.

Determined to leave Lortel alone in the dark room, to go outside and quietly blend in with the crowds of people on the street at night.

…But it wasn’t as easy as that.

It felt as if I were in checkmate. It was as if someone was pushing a knife to my throat, a situation where I needed to be determined to make a decision between the two.

My head was spinning as I thought of every possibility. But at that moment, just ‘thinking’ may be enough to hurt and insult them.

So, at most, I only had a few seconds to think about it.

I needed to quickly come to a decision. It was an extreme and unreasonable situation I was placed in. Struggling to breathe, I looked up towards Lortel.

The nape of her neck was red. The color behind her ears was also starting to rise. It seemed as if she would burst at any moment. Fortunately, she couldn’t see my reaction, as she was struggling herself.

Seeing that, I slowly started to calm down to my usual self.

Yeah. From the start, my mindset was wrong. It wasn’t important whether or not I became a piece of trash. It wouldn’t be polite to Lortel to have such thoughts, given how she used all the courage she had to ask me that.

The important thing was at the end of the day. It wasn’t about decency and morals. It was about where I truly thought of Lortel as a woman.

No matter what, Lortel was a good woman.

I wasn’t just talking about her beautiful looks and wealth.

She had incredible insight and was open-minded. At the same time, there were fragile parts of her that seemed like they would collapse at any moment if not supported. She acted selfishly at first, but once she was certain of you, she was willing to do anything for your sake. Everything about her was attractive.

She was a reliable person to have by your side.

I couldn’t help but admit it. I found Lortel a very attractive woman. I couldn’t deny that.

My life where I struggled just to survive another day had ended. Now that I lived a stable life, I could take a look back. I remembered every moment she was kind and favorable towards me. I realized just how important her sincerity was to me.

From the moment we first met at Silvenia, we had gone through so much together.

I went through several hardships that could put her life at risk, but she never hesitated to help me. She always walked the same path as me, helping me with any favor without hesitation. After thinking about all of that, I came to a definite conclusion.

I could never abandon Lortel.

I wiped my face as I pushed my bangs aside. I let out a heavy exhale. I then stood up and I went towards the window.

Fwoosh.

The sound of the waves at night and the gentle breeze calmed my mind and body. I looked at the night view for a while. Finally, I said Lortel’s name.

“Lortel.”

“Keuk!”

She suddenly trembled as she made a strange noise. It was as if she was holding her breath. I only said her name, but it was as if I had punched her in the stomach.

Upon seeing her rather embarrassed reaction, I also struggled to immediately say anything else. It must have been a difficult sight to watch the two of us. I thought it would be too cruel to ask Lortel anything else. So, I closed my mouth as I turned around.

I slowly walked towards Lortel, sitting beside her. I then held her shoulders close.

“E-Ed…”

My heart was pounding. I had no idea I was so nervous. But listening closely, I realized it wasn’t the sound of my heart beating.

As if the thumping noise was embarrassing, Lortel took a deep breath to calm down. Unfortunately, the sound never stopped. That couldn’t be helped. I gently held Lortel’s chin as I quality moved it towards me. I then leaned forward, kissing her.

I used my other hand to support Lortel’s back as I gently pushed her onto the bed. Lortel had followed my movement unconsciously. On top of the soft bed, she looked up at me.

“Relax your hand.”

Only then did Lortel realize that this entire time, she was clenching my forearm. As Lortel relaxed my arm, a handprint remained on my wrist. It was proof that she was nervous.

“E-Ed… I… Uhm…”

I waited.

“I-I know I asked you to, but… Uhm… I…don’t know what to do…”

It was natural to be in a panic without any experience. It was also funny to think about the fact that I would need to instruct her step by step.

“Just stay still. I didn’t do it on purpose, but… I know what you want…”

“H-huh…? Wh-what…?”

Lortel was a smart person. From what I had said, she could easily figure out what I meant. She then held her breath.

She had caught on. I had read everything in her secret notebook that she carried around, but it couldn’t be helped given the situation. I needed as much information as I could get.

And…it couldn’t be helped that I even ended up learning some unwanted information.

She had written all sorts of embarrassing things on the last page of her notebook, in case anyone would look. Since it looked pretty old, it seemed that she had forgotten about it for some time as well. In fact, it was more like a list of delusions than notes.

Lortel was just a young girl who had no experience of dating. What she wrote were girlish delusions. It must have been embarrassing to have someone else read it.

Some might laugh reading through it, but you couldn’t just mock her. A girl of her age having romantic feelings towards another, and the imagination that came with it… It was embarrassing to say aloud, but it was something that everyone did at least once before.

So, I didn’t mention them out of consideration for Lortel. However, with the situation as it was, the best thing to do was what was in the notebook. After all, they were all things she wished for and wrote down herself.

…She even wrote down how she wanted her hair to be brushed behind her ears… All of which was rather detailed…

Thud!

Lortel suddenly sat up as she moved further away from me. She was trembling with her naked back against the head of the bed. It seemed that she finally remembered what she had written in that old notebook of hers.

“E-E-Ed… H-h-how far…?”

“D-don’t panic… Lortel… In this situation, it’s actually a good thing to share our inner desires openly like this…”

I needed to be as calm as possible and act as if it wasn’t a big deal. That way, she wouldn’t be overwhelmed.

“Th-then…”

“Y-yeah, Lortel. But… Unfortunately, I can’t really prepare scented freesia candles or a bath with roses…”

“Kyaaak!”

Lortel let out a horrified screech, unlike her usual self. She looked rather pitiful as she pulled on the blanket and breathed heavily… Still, it seemed that she was still able to maintain some level of reason.

Her eyes were wide open, and her face was completely red. She no longer seemed like the same merchant who was willing to sell her soul for gold coins.

“So… Lortel…”

She didn’t make a peep.

“I’m sorry, but… I…um… Comparing your beauty to a flower…comparing your eyes to the stars… I can’t really say such romantic metaphors… That’s a bit… I’m sorry…”

In short, those lines that were written down in her notebook were a little hard for me to say. The Ed who existed in Lortel’s delusions seemed to be quite good at saying those romantic lines. Unfortunately, the real me wasn’t good when it came to things like that.

I could try, but after thinking about it, that would just make things worse.

“…Ed…”

I remained silent.

“…Please…kill me…”

I’m sorry, but that’s hard for me to do. In a world that is full of ups and downs, even if times are hard, we still have to survive…