"Is something troubling you?" The question was set in an ever so careful and comforting tone, like a gentle pat on his back.
"I'm sorry?" Lloyd was startled out of his reverie when he noticed Countess Marbella looking at him across the dinner table. That's when he realized he'd been fiddling with his salad without eating. "Oh, I've got something on my mind," he said hurriedly, forcing his lips to move upward and putting on the same bright smile he'd been showing often as of late. Countess Marbella, on the other hand, was not convinced.
"If you are tired, you can say so, my dear. It is all right." She smiled as well. It was faint, but there was warmth unlike his. "Your father and I know how hard you've continued to work. How can we not after seeing all your accomplishments?"
"That's..." Lloyd couldn't finish his sentence.
"Did you not get the answer you wanted from the Jewel of Truth that was built recently?"
Lloyd clamped his lips shut. Mothers. They saw through everything.
I thought I was hiding it perfectly.
Lloyd hadn't stopped smiling in the past few days. When people showered him with compliments and praise, he proudly shrugged in an effort to act like he was enjoying every moment of it. But it turned out that he was mistaken. What Count Marbella said next confirmed his realization.
"Sir Asrahan has told us that you have been acting strange lately," she remarked while locking her fingers together on the table.
"He did?" Lloyd raised his brows.
"Yes. He says that it looks like you are avoiding him."
"Well, that's because I'm a busy man. Hahaha!"
Count Marbella's eyes ran over Lloyd in suspicion at his sudden outburst of laughter.
"He didn't whine about how upset he is, did he?" Lloyd asked nonchalantly.
"He was very worried about you. And Sir Asrahan is not the only one that is."
"What? Then, who else-"
"Sir Bayern submitted a report yesterday to Arcos. It said that you have been acting unusually upbeat these days."
Lloyd cleared his throat.
"He is worried too," added Count Marbella. "Because to him, it looks like you are acting that way on purpose. He wrote your face is smiling, but there is a gloominess to it on a closer look."
Lloyd was utterly dazed. He couldn't speak at all. It turned out that his behavior had been transparent all along.
"There are others," she continued softly. "Sir Blanc, Arosh, Moira, and Turtle Neck. Everyone is worried. They all say that you seem to be brooding over something after using the Jewel of Truth."
“...”
"Your father and I have made a similar observation." Countess Marbella spoke, her voice dripping with concern. "You have been unusually quiet recently and often forcing yourself to smile, only to be lost in your thoughts once again. Did you think we would not notice?"
"Um, no…" Lloyd honestly didn't think they'd notice. He thought he had been putting on a good act. As he scratched his head in embarrassment, his face turned crimson red.
Wow. I guess I was too obvious, and my feelings were written all over my face. My act must have been terrible.
Lloyd couldn't believe that everyone had been whispering their concerns behind his back while he walked around like a fool with a bright smile on his face. Lloyd grumbled, his face flushing with embarrassment.
Dang. If I was that obvious, someone might as well have told me I was. No one here has good manners.
In one part, however, Lloyd understood why they weren't able to say anything to him. They were worried that bringing up the subject might stress him more. They must have simply watched him from afar for his sake.
My goodness. Haah. These people are too kind.
Lloyd exhaled like a deflating balloon, the corners of his lips rising. He wanted to keep the matter to himself and solve the issue on his own. It wasn't something that could be discussed openly. His plan was to struggle alone to find a solution. He never imagined anyone would notice his behavior in the process. Even if he was exposed, however, he had no intention of sharing his concerns with them.
I'll just thank them for their kind intentions.
His dilemma couldn't be revealed in any case. How could he reveal to the others that either he or Javier had to die?
No one knows what Javier will do once he finds out.
Javier would immediately throw his life away if he found out that one of them had to vanish for the safety of the Frontera family. That was the kind of person Javier Asrahan was.
He'd do it even if he hates me. His loyalty toward Count Frontera is absolute.
Lloyd was well aware that Javier was always prepared to make any sacrifice necessary for Count Frontera and his family.
So, I can never tell him about the Jewel of Truth's answer to my question.
There was another problem with explaining his dilemma. It was that he'd have to reveal his identity and explain how he'd taken Javier's role as the main protagonist. Lloyd wasn't going to do that. The time was not yet right.
"Um, I am sorry." Lloyd craned his head a little lower and spoke in a grave tone. "To be honest, something is indeed worrying me. But I can't share my concerns with you at the moment."
"Is there a reason for that, my dear?"
"Yes." Lloyd nodded as he looked down.
She gave a concerned look. "Is it related to the restoration of destiny that you told us about the last time?"
Lloyd looked her in the eyes. "I can't tell you in detail, but yes. That's largely it. But I assure you..." He paused for a moment. "I will tell you everything when this whole thing is over." That was it. When the time came, he'd tell them about all the worries that had plagued his mind and the truth about his identity. Everything would be revealed. Lloyd hoped that the day would arrive as soon as possible.
Countess Marbella gave a gentle smile, and her voice sounded more assuring than a second ago. "I see. Until then, I will continue to cheer you on."
"Thank you." Lloyd felt grateful that she didn't press further.
"But promise me one thing."
"Yes?"
"Whenever you are going through a hard time, please tell us honestly," urged Countess Marbella. "Even if you try to hide it, everyone will be able to see through you."
"Ehem..." Lloyd cleared his throat. "I will."
"And one more thing."
"What is it?"
"You may think I am being nosy here... If something is worrying you, try to focus on something else for a bit."
"Come again?" The suggestion took Lloyd by surprise. "Focus on something else..?"
"A simple problem you can solve right at the moment."
"A simple problem..."
"Yes," she suggested. "A simple problem. A trivial and easy problem that you can solve without much time or effort. At times, focusing on such problems can lead to answers for a bigger dilemma."
"Oh." Lloyd felt his world become brighter as soon as he processed the advice in his head as if a ray of light shone ahead of him. His world had been dim and dark since the Jewel of Truth's response, but for the first time, his heart felt liberated.
That could be it.
Of course, it wasn't that he found the solution. But he did manage to have a realization from her suggestion.
I was too caught up thinking about a problem that couldn't be answered right away. My perspective has narrowed. This won't do. The more I obsess over one problem, the harder it will be to come up with a dynamic solution.
Looking back, Lloyd realized that this particular dilemma had taken over his mind for the past few days. He would never be able to find a new approach or solution in this state.
Okay. She's right. I have to shift my focus. Let's try to work on another problem. Hmm... How about the side effect of the Heart of Winter?
That, too, wasn't a simple issue. But it was relatively easier to deal with than the dilemma of choosing whether Javier or he should die.
That's right. One thing at a time. I need to prioritize urgent matters first. Ice Dragon Tyrannus said that ignoring the negative side effect of absorbing the Heart of Winter will cause it to spread across my entire body like cancer and drastically shorten my lifespan.
In some ways, this could be seen as a more urgent issue. It could be what calls for his attention before anything else.
So, for the time being, I'll take care of the side effects from absorbing the Heart of Winter first. At the same time, I'll continue to think about how I should deal with the information I learned from the Jewel of Truth.
In any case, he had nearly two years until the restoration of destiny would begin. Lloyd became suddenly convinced that he could solve the problem while dealing with other issues in front of him.
"Ha..." Finally, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He regained his lost appetite for the first time in several days. "I will do that. I really appreciate it." Lloyd bowed again to Countess Marbella as he picked up his fork. Even a moment ago, he couldn't get himself to care for any of the food placed in front of him. But he was suddenly hit with an intense pang of hunger.
It's been a while since I had an appetite.
And then he began digging into his meal. Lloyd was disappointed that he couldn't have kimchi jjigae with mackerel and white rice instead of salad and sausage. However, he still enjoyed the dishes on his dinner table. Countess Marbella looked at Lloyd with a satisfied expression on her face. And she thought to herself...
Lloyd... used to loathe cleaning his ears.
Lloyd had a particular aversion to it since he was a child. Every time she tried to clean his ears, he acted as if he was having a panic attack, threw tantrums, and floundered around. Thus, he made it impossible for her to use the cotton swabs on him. Eventually, she gave up on trying.
He's been like that since he was a baby. When he got older, he grumbled about how much he hated the feeling of a cotton swab entering his ear. He said it was disgusting, even. He believed it was harmless to not clean his ears.
That was Lloyd. The child who vowed to never clean his ears. Countess Marbella knew every single detail about her son. As such, a part of her was saddened.
The Jewel of Truth, on the other hand...
It wrote an announcement in the sky about Lloyd's special way of cleaning his ears. She couldn't believe what she saw. There was only one of the two possibilities, she had concluded to herself. The Jewel of Truth, that mythical building, had lied.
If not...
Count Marbella stared across from the table. Lloyd was busily enjoying his meal. A shaft of grief filled her eyes.
♣
Ha. This is sad, very sad. Why do I have to do this now?
Lloyd grumbled as he walked to his room after a satisfying dinner. But his face was more relaxed than before, and at times, a random chuckle escaped him. It was because he had an epiphany at the dinner table while listening to Countess Marbella's advice.
I feel calm for the first time in a while. Now, I can focus on a problem I can solve right now.
Lloyd had mulled over a solution to treat the side effects he suffered from absorbing the Heart of Winter during dinner.
The solution is actually simple. Tyrannus told me what it is. I just need to attain a divine item that possesses the opposite nature of the Heart of Winter.
The Tears of Summer. It was another divine item of the House of Magentano.
I just have to get it in my hands. The problem is how.
Lloyd had racked his brain for the entirety of dinner. The things he could do. The things he couldn't do. Any loopholes he could capitalize on. And countless possibilities and outcomes that could follow. Lloyd pondered, speculated, and weighed over the situation.
As he took the last bite of his salad, a brilliant epiphany struck him, lifting so much weight off his shoulders that he practically floated back to his room. He then summoned his maid, Emily, and assigned her an errand. She returned from it by the time he finished cleaning up his room. On the tray she was holding was a bowl of cold water.
"Um, young master, I brought the cold water you asked for," announced Emily with uncertainty in her voice.
"Okay. Thank you. Just put it over there," instructed Lloyd casually.
"Are you not going to drink it?"
"Nope. Leave it there and be gone now. Thank you. Good night."
Lloyd practically shoved Emily out of his room and shut the door. He looked at the bowl on the desk after smoothing his clothes. He knelt, clasped his hands against his chest, and began to beg the heavens.
"I pray, I pray. Lloyd Frontera of the beneath world prays to the upper realm's holy angels. Please transport me to the heavens. Please summon me. I am a sinner. I defied the demolition order by attacking and harassing an angel. I'm sorry for what I've done. So, I implore you! Please! Take! Me! Right away!"
His prayer had an ulterior motive. Lloyd begged and begged toward the cold bowl of water to be summoned immediately, recalling Raphael's prayer of complaint. Was he acting this way because he had suddenly gone mad? Absolutely not.
This is how I will attain the Tears of Summer!
Lloyd frantically prayed, recalling his grand plan. Could it be that his prayer worked? The heavens intervened about an hour into his fervent hand-rubbing and murmuring, just as he was beginning to question its efficacy.
Fwoosh! Abruptly, his bedroom was enveloped with brilliant rays of light, which was followed by an emergence of angels one after another.
It worked!
A total of six Thrones and Dominion angels. Lloyd gave them a welcoming smile as they arrived.
