I Got a Gallery in the Wild - Chapter 91

Even if I have nowhere left to use it, my manhood is precious.

Not just me, but every man would think the exact same way.

Even childhood friends who laugh their asses off when you break a leg—what if something happens down there?

Then the groin is the one place where they offer genuine, heartfelt condolences. Anyone making fun of that is just evil.

And right now, I was facing the ultimate crisis of my life as a man.

Whether it was because I ate eel yesterday or not, the tent pitched between my legs showed absolutely no sign of coming down.

I wondered if eating a single eel could really cause this, but in the Forest of the Four Seasons, it was a whole different story.

After all, hadn’t I suffered a fever for an entire day just from eating one fish back then?

’Ah, please. I really don’t want to ask people about this.’

I desperately searched the Gallery for symptoms similar to mine.

However, male bastards are all the same everywhere—they were doing nothing but bragging.

Occasionally, there were posts of guys screaming in agony over kidney stones, but that was it.

Stories related to a serious situation like mine were nowhere to be found.

’Should I try posting on the Gallery...?’

I had no choice but to ponder it seriously. It was a little—no, extremely—embarrassing.

Since the Gallery guaranteed anonymity, I could just shameless it out, but this was different.

Among my friends back home, there was a type who remained polite even in online games.

They just couldn’t act shamelessly due to their personality. Back then, I didn’t understand them.

But when I found myself in an urgent situation, I couldn’t help but hesitate in many ways.

’No. Let’s ask Allfather first.’

Allfather was knowledgeable, so he would be of help to some degree.

Besides, he was a fellow man, so he would take it seriously.

Hoping that Allfather was also well-versed in medicine, I sent him a message.

[Wild Grylls: Allfather-nim. Are you around by any chance?]

[Allfather: What is the matter?]

Fortunately, Allfather seemed to be lurking in the Gallery. I was relieved.

However, relief aside, it meant nothing if I couldn’t get a solution.

Hoping for the best, I explained my current symptoms to him.

[Wild Grylls: It’s a bit of a... dangerous situation. Especially dangerous as a man.]

[Allfather: Don’t tell me your penis or testicles exploded?]

Allfather brought up quite a terrifying possibility.

If it were something like that, I would have already departed from the living world.

However, the fact that it felt like it was on the verge of exploding remained unchanged.

[Wild Grylls: It’s not at that point yet. But ever since I woke up this morning, it just won’t calm down at all;;]

[Allfather: Hmm. It seems it is because you ate eel yesterday. And since it was an eel from the Forest of the Four Seasons, it resulted in this.]

[Wild Grylls: Are you really sure?]

[Allfather: Yes. I also woke up this morning and it was just... hohoho.]

A lot seemed to be implied in that hearty laughter.

What on earth was in that eel to produce effects no weaker than a potent tonic?

Regardless, none of that mattered right now—curing it was the urgent priority.

[Wild Grylls: Can it be cured?]

[Allfather: Yes. But before that, would it be fine if I explained the theory first? That way, the treatment will be much easier.]

[Wild Grylls: Is it difficult to fix with medicine?]

[Allfather: Since it is related to the energy inside your body, Grylls-ssi’s own effort is the most important.]

No wonder even an Elixir didn’t work. I had even applied it directly down there, but it was completely useless.

If anything, it only made it sturdier. I wouldn’t even have an excuse if someone called me a dumbass.

I’m fucking serious right now, damn it.

[Wild Grylls: I pray it’s an easy explanation.]

[Allfather: Yes. According to my research, each gender harbors a unique energy. In the Central Plains, it is referred to as Yin and Yang, but it can also be expressed medically.]

Don’t tell me he’s talking about hormones.

I listened intently to Allfather’s explanation.

[Allfather: Among them, Yang energy governs physical aspects such as muscles, body hair, stamina, and so forth. It is occasionally said to influence hair loss, though that remains unverified.]

[Wild Grylls: Does that mean the eel harbored Yang energy?]

[Allfather: Not harbored. It simply possesses the effect of amplifying that energy. The problem is that the place where a man’s energy gathers most easily is precisely the groin.]

Allfather’s explanation was simple. Eating the eel caused Yang energy—in other words, male hormones—to skyrocket.

And there was a high probability that the surged hormones gathered in my crotch, leading to this mess.

One might think what kind of nonsensical situation this was, but this place was a fantasy world.

It was a place where things that made no sense by my standards functioned as common sense.

[Wild Grylls: What is the cure?]Enjoying the story? Read on at novel⁠ping.com.

[Allfather: Since you learned the Internal Cultivation Art, it should be easy. Do it with the mindset of dispersing the energy gathered in your crotch in all directions.]

[Wild Grylls: It sounds super easy just hearing it?]

[Allfather: The real key is whether you can focus on the Internal Cultivation Art while pitching a tent down there.]

Ah.

Hearing that, it sounded incredibly hard. The Internal Cultivation Art was a training method that required high concentration.

It was slowly reaching the point where it actually hurt, and to undergo the Internal Cultivation Art in this state... I was at a loss.

[Allfather: If it is truly difficult, there is an easy method.]

[Wild Grylls: What’s that?]

[Allfather: Either cutting it off or resolving it yourself. It is one of the two.]

;;;

It is one of the two.

;;;

Cutting it off was absolutely out of the question. I expressed my gratitude to Allfather and immediately began the Internal Cultivation Art.

I had to resolve this crisis somehow to get past this hurdle.

’Let’s focus on the energy gathered in my crotch, not my lower abdomen.’

If anyone saw me right now, they would definitely think I was a pervert.

But I was deadly serious. I had to prevent my pride—and my balls—from bursting, didn’t I?

I tried my best to ignore the area demanding so much of my attention and began gathering the energy.

"Phew..."

As expected, it wasn’t easy. While the energy gathered in my dantian was easy to feel, controlling the energy down there was overwhelming.

Even so, I had to do it. I mustered an extreme level of concentration.

Shaaaaa-

Did my focus pay off? I felt the tightly clumped energy gradually diluting.

My joy at that feeling was short-lived, as a bizarre situation began to unfold.

’Huh? Uh, wait?’

The clumped energy began dispersing throughout my entire body.

It was a thoroughly flustered moment, but soon the mass-like energy scattered like fine powder.

If it had ended with just scattering, I wouldn’t even have been flustered. A change occurred immediately after.

The flow of mana inside my body. Far beyond merely speeding up, it became significantly stronger.

It felt as though my overall physical capabilities, not just mana, had been forcibly pumped up.

My heart pounded fiercely, and I could hold my breath much longer than before.

The sudden transformation went beyond bewildering—it was downright baffling.

’F-First, let’s complete the full circulation.’

If I stopped here, there was no telling what might happen. I maintained my focus until the very end.

I barely managed to synchronize my long-interval breathing with the raging storm of mana, slowly calming my pounding heart.

’The sky is the supreme height looked up to by all creation...’

Just in case, I even recited the secret mantra Heavenly Demon had taught me.

The mental image was not of calming the storm, but of aligning myself with it.

I governed the energy through ’adaptation’ rather than ’control.’

Because if I didn’t do at least this much, it felt like I would be swept away by that storm.

Thump! Thump! Thump-

After a short while, as my heart gradually calmed down, the flow of mana also stabilized.

I composed my breath a few times, concluded the cultivation method, and opened my eyes.

"Phew."

I shook my head side to side. It felt like I had become one with the storm.

What would have happened if I had chosen control over adaptation?

Given my already low proficiency, there was a high probability I would have failed.

’The mantra Heavenly Demon taught me is surprisingly good.’

Reciting the mantra during crises proved to be a huge help every time.

I suddenly got curious about what the next mantra was, but I intended to wait patiently.

’...Don’t tell me it exploded, right?’

With an anxious heart, I peeked inside my pants.

Fortunately, it was completely fine. Sorry for being such a foolish master.

Although quite a bizarre incident occurred right from the morning, I managed to get through it safely.

’I definitely shouldn’t post this on the Gallery.’

I couldn’t post it out of sheer embarrassment. I’d rather just write it in my diary.

Coincidentally, since I had realized the efficacy of the eel, it seemed worth writing down.

’Share eel whenever possible. Eating it alone causes trouble.’

It was a truly perfect diary entry. Illustration, effects, warnings—not a single thing was lacking.

And so began Day 12, which had been eventful right from the morning.Enjoying the story? Read on at novelрing.com.

First and foremost, I posted on the Gallery to announce my survival.

Title) Wild Grylls Waking Up

Wild Grylls

(Photo of a burnt-out campfire with only charcoal remaining)

Starting Day 12 as of today.

ㄴHeavenly Demon) How unusual for you to wake up late.

ㄴWild Grylls) I had a bit of an issue in the morning.

ㄴHeavenly Demon) Was it something dangerous?

ㄴWild Grylls) Personally, it could be considered an unprecedented crisis.

ㄴHeavenly Demon) Still, I am glad you resolved it.

ㄴAllfather) It seems the matter was resolved well.

ㄴWild Grylls) Thanks to you haha;;

ㄴPassing Dwarf) Hey. The eel you gave yesterday was super effective lol

ㄴPraise the Sun) Me too lol refilled my confidence for the first time in a while.

ㄴKing Reor) My wife squeezed me dry since morning...

ㄴSmart Demon) I thought it was medicine, not eel.

ㄴWild Grylls) I only gave one piece, but everyone was like that?

ㄴComment) This must also be because it’s the Forest of the Four Seasons.

ㄴComment) Then what about Grylls? Grylls ate way more all by himself.

ㄴComment) Wasn’t his morning issue because it wouldn’t go down?

ㄴComment) Pfft lol if so, that really was a crisis lol

It seemed I was the only victim (?).

Too much of anything is as bad as too little; this problem occurred because I gorged on more by myself.

Next time, I should definitely share eel. Assuming I catch one, that is.

’Do I have to be picky about food from now on...?’

I would ask Allfather about it, but the symptoms themselves were something I had to bear alone.

I let out a sigh and stood up. It was the start of the daily routine.

The first thing to do was repairs. The work I had resolved to do as of yesterday.

Since I had to make it a complete shelter rather than a simple outpost, it needed meticulous refining.

’He said he would give the barricades around lunch.’

First, the position of the barricades needed to be adjusted.

Since the moat had been converted into a drainage ditch, the barricades often ended up sitting directly over it.

It would be better to place the barricades outside the drainage ditch instead.

’I’ll have to exert some strength.’

The height of the barricades was slightly above my eye level.

Pushing them without mana would be impossible...

Ggeugeugeuk-

"Huh?"

...or so it should have been, but why were they suddenly sliding forward?

I had clearly just given a light push as a test, but the barricade smoothly slid away.

I checked to see if the ground was slippery, but that wasn’t it at all.

No matter how soft the dirt ground was, it wouldn’t slide this easily.

’What’s this? Is it an illusion?’

Wondering if it was just a mistake, I pushed harder. I didn’t use any mana at all.

Ggeugeugeugeuk!

Surprisingly, the barricade slid back easily.

Was the barricade light, then? Absolutely not.

One could easily tell just by looking at the deep grooves scraped into the ground.

In other words, my physical strength had become significantly stronger than before.

’It was the same just up until yesterday?’

Don’t tell me a single eel made me this strong? The only thing that came to mind right now was the eel.

I wondered if eating eel could really boost strength like this, but where was I?

Wasn’t this the Forest of the Four Seasons, a place where you had to accept all kinds of bizarre occurrences and move on?

I dragged the barricade here and there, then lifted the bottom just in case.

Whereupon the barricade lifted up effortlessly.

’...Nice.’

I felt like I understood why athletes popped performance-enhancing drugs.